Logan is arriving much faster than I was realizing, and it is leaving me in a very melancholy sort of mood. Now of course having Logan finally here will be the greatest thing to ever happen to me! I will finally be a mommy! And I will watch Tom turn into an amazing daddy. I cannot wait for that day to arrive! Only 8 1/2 weeks to go-ish!!!!!!! I have always wanted to be a mom and I cannot wait!!!
Now on the other hand I am starting to completely panic and stress out and see how everything in my life is about to change. Now don't get me wrong, I am so excited for all of this like I said before, BUT I am not one to deal with change very well and tonight I have realized how much and how fast everything is changing! (Now if that wasn't a run on sentence I don't know what is!)
Here are a couple of the biggest changes that are coming my way that I do not feel at all prepare3d to deal with.......
-Since I will be going on maternity leave sometime in February Tom needed to get a second job so we could survive. Well we were very blessed to have a jobh just fall into Tom's lap. I got him a job with the Salt lake School District to be a group leader at Wasatch Elementary. We were so excited! he got the job before he even went in for the interview. So that all sounds great right?? Well it is! BUT I am having a hard time with it because Tom is starting this second job on MONDAY. I cannot even believe it!!!!!!! He got the job a few weeks ago and it seemed like it wouldn't happen for a long time! But nope, it starts on Monday. So starting Monday since he couldn't get Discover Card to switch him to a morning shift his schedule will be as follows...
6:00am-12:30pm Discover Card
2:00pm-6:00pm Wasatch Elementary
6:30pm-8:00pm Discover Card
Come home, eat dinner, go to bed, then get up and do it all over again. And work Every Saturday.
I have been so spoiled since Tom and I got married that our work schedules have worked out so great and I see him lots! Hm being at work ALL day long and me being very pregnant and hormonal, and then having a newborn and still hormonal it is going to be a very long 6 months. I am already missing him and it hasn't even started yet! I am going to be a mess!!!
Along with hi scrazy work schedule and me missing him like crazy I also feel very guilty over the whole thing to! I am so happy that I get to take a full 3 months off with baby Logan, but I am having a way hard time knowing that tom is going to be working crazy long days so that I can do it! I have not gone without a job since I was 15 years old. So not working for 3 months AND making Tom work 2 jobs just isn't working well with my brain or emotions!!!
-Tom and I only have a few more weeks to just be us. Only a few more weeks to be able to leave the house and do whatever we want whenever we want. To be able to stay out late and play with friends, and go on spur of the moment vscations. When I really think about it I am having a very hard time with this. Yes I am probably the most selfish person in the world!! Now once again I know it will all be worth it but now before it has happened I am almost in mourning of our childless life being left behind.
Now more on a I am so excited that baby is almost here that I can hardly even stand it note...... Here is a change I am excited about... The nursery is finally coming together!!!!! I worked hard all day yesterday to clean out the babies room! (It was our junk room up until yesterday.) Then tomorrow my dad will be bringing over the carpet shampooer so i can shampoo the carpet in Logans room. Then saturday is the day we will go pick up all the baby furniture fron my grandma's house and we will put together the crib! I am SO SO SO excited!!!! Things are finally coming together! I have all the baby furniture I will need, and all I had to buy was the crib! We have a bassinet that has been used on my Aunt, mom, all 6 of us grandkids and now Logan. It's gorgeous!! We have a changing table/dresser, a bookshelf, and a toychest that my dad made for my sister Lauren that I get to repaint however I would like. And a rocking chair. I am so excited, and feel so so blessed to have so much for our precious little boy already!!!
I truly am blessed to be married to such an amazing man and to have such an awesome family! (Toms and mine.) I love knowing that I am always surrounded by people who are willing to help. Since I am in a total panic that Logan is going to get here and I will have NO clue what I am doing!! I am so so so excited for the changes about to come our way! Some make me a bit sad, and put me in complete panic mode whenever I think about them, but it is all going to be so worth it when I see this precious little mans face that I'm already so entirely in love with!!! :-)