Waiting, waiting, waiting. I feel like all I ever do lately is wait. I'm always in a 'hurry up and wait' kind of situation. And it is getting very old!!!!! I know I just need to be patients and stay close to my Heavenly Father and everything will happen when it is supposed to. But that really is easier said than done. I have never been patient with anything!!!!!! So when it comes to something very important and so life changing I really am losing all patience really fast!!!!! I want it to be our turn now! I am have been very supportive of others and helped them when it was their turn. And I think it should be my turn!!!!! No more waiting, no more having no control over what happens, I just want life to start giving me what I want a little bit. i feel like I am always giving, and taking care of others, and doing everything I can to please others and make others lives happier and better. And I am happy to do it I really am. But I want to be selfish right now and have what I want!!! It hurts deep being around those that have what I want right now. I can'[t handle being around pregnant women anymore. It hurts to much! I can't hear about anymore stories of parents neglecting their children when all I want is a baby! I can't handle going to work everyday and having to keep track of the wellbeing of all my cute students and calling DCFS on their parents on a regular basis. I cant stand seeing those kids be taken away from thier undeserving parents!!! Why can these awful people have so easily what I am working so so so hard to have??? It isn't fair!!!!! What is so wrong with me that I don't get this blessing yet??
Anyway, sorry it has just been a very trying past few weeks!!! And I don;t want to wait anymore!!!! I am READY!!!!! And I shouldnt be being so selfish and wanting this so bad when I have so many friends who are dealing with such harder situations right now. My heart goes out to them just so hard! I cannot imagine what they are going through. I think it is all of our turns. We deserve this!!!!!!!